EDITOR’S NOTE: I recently ran across an article written by Tom Serpell called “Good Mentoring”. He outlines the 12 key characteristics of good mentoring anyone can use to evaluate a mentor or mentoring program. I have included it in this post in its entirety. Here it is.
“Good Mentoring” by Tom Serpell
Mentoring works; but how?
There as about as many definitions of mentoring and its differences or similarities to coaching as there are mentors and coaches. Many would say that they are the same or a least cannot be clearly separated. What one can say is that having someone to talk to about issues that matter to you can make a huge difference. As to what works best in this regard, I have tried to sum up 12 key characteristics of mentoring:
1. Good mentoring is purposeful: we do not just sit down for a chat when we mentor. We are there to help address a cause of stress or uncertainty; a lack of knowhow or resolution. Time is being taken so let it be used constructively. The first stage of mentoring must be to agree what the purpose is. In almost all cases, motivation and self-confidence are likely to be among outcomes sought – and obtained.
2. Good mentoring is conducted by someone relevant: in an informal setting a mentor can be someone with whom you share your concerns, maybe without either realising that mentoring is occurring. You will have chosen that person as someone you feel comfortable with, who will listen and may offer wisdom. In a business setting, we need that and more. Mentoring is about something related to your business life, in which you intend to invest time and possibly money. In business a return is expected from investment, so your mentor should be someone from whom you can gain such a return – who understands that issue because they have been there themselves.
3. Good mentoring involves listening not advising: Mentors do not advise; they listen actively. This means that they want to understand not only what the mentee says and means but what they are capable of by way of handling the issue. Questioning and listening are the mentor’s main techniques, even when it comes to offering their expertise. “Have you considered…?” and “What about….?” are typical ways of introducing method, rather than “You should…”.
4. A good mentor has only one agenda, the mentee’s: Those who see mentoring as a platform for self-promotion are not good mentors. Their approach to helping will be compromised by the outcomes they want, rather than the good of the mentee. Those who are thinking about their forthcoming holiday plans, tax return or job are not mentoring well. They are not listening actively. Clients and mentoring scheme organisers need to be sure that such behaviour cannot be expected from any potential mentor. Mentoring must focus solely on the purpose and need of the individual being mentored.
5. Good mentoring provides a sounding board: sometimes one needs to build one’s own confidence that what you think you want to do is right. Sometimes you need to sound off about the injustices of the world so that you can get them off your chest and get on with the day-job. Sometimes you need to share the burdens of responsibility with someone outside your hierarchy. These things need to be done with someone safe; someone whom you can trust neither to spread what you say nor condemn you for feeling that way. Mentoring demands trust and confidentiality.
6. A good mentor shares experience and hindsight: Story-telling is a valuable element in mentoring. Where it is based on the mentor’s background, it both strengthens the bond of confidence between the pair and enables the mentor to pass on the benefits of their experience and lessons learned without recommendation or advice. Questions like: “how else might I have approached this?” may draw conclusions from the mentee. Further evidence of a mentor’s experience may be found in their contacts database and market knowledge, which should be made available to the mentee by signposting resources for their own further investigation.
7. Good mentoring is confidential, open and mutually trusting: only such a framework will elicit real honesty and comprehensive understanding about the issues and feelings of both parties. The mentee needs to know that nothing that s/he says will be passed on to colleagues, managers, clients, friends or family, which could embarrass them. Mutuality enables the mentor to be self-critical for the benefit of the mentee.
8. Good mentoring develops the mentee’s skills: surely it is better to equip someone to solve their own problems, both current and future, even than to solve a current problem for them, leaving them dependent and lacking the knowhow? Mentoring holds a mirror up to the mentee and to the wider options open to them, raising their skills and capabilities more personally, effectively and lastingly than generic training.
9. Good mentoring explores options: Being close to operational or management problems can prevent you from stepping back to consider what options you may have for dealing with them. This can lead one to adopt the obvious or even just the first solution that presents itself, when there may be many alternatives, if only one can bring them to mind. A mentor – who should have such a toolbox of experience – will be better able to draw out such options, enabling the mentee to set each against the problems faced and select what seems best.
10. A good mentor challenges constructively: the trusted and open relationship between mentor and mentee should encourage frankness. The agenda being that of the mentee means that it is a duty of the mentor, where seeing the need, to challenge them as to their assessment of themselves, their options, their competence and not simply to nod through their opinions.
11. Good mentoring leads to better decisions: The increased skill; awareness of options; contacts sign-posted and confidence imbued via mentoring should all contribute to a mentee being able to make better decisions in the subject areas covered than hitherto.
12. Good mentoring leads to action: if mentoring is to be purposeful and effective for the mentee, it must surely not only define actions desirable but actually entail their execution. The mentee must not only know what to do and how to do it but be motivated to do so. For this reason mentoring should not be terminated before action has been taken; and may lead to it being measurable or valued, by its effects.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Serpell is a B2B Strategic marketing consultant and mentor living in East Sussex. You can learn more about his work here: http://www.marketingmentorsussex.co.uk
[Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tom_Serpell]
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